Wednesday Nights

January 19, 2023 Kimberly Mcdowell

I know I know, it’s only January and already I’m talking about time-off and self-care. Adulting is a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still grateful but being grateful doesn’t mean it’s not hard. Since the middle of last year, I’ve been trying to adopt the mindset of not being ashamed to rest. Not feeling guilty about doing nothing. Saying no when I really don’t feel like it and you’d be surprised at how hard that is. If you ask Hubby, he’d say I’m really good at the No part. Well as a wife, mother, professional, and entrepreneur my mind is constantly running, making lists, people pleasing, and people disappointing. They all require the caretaker in me to work overtime and in a totally different way for each arena. Again, I’m extremely grateful because most of this I’ve asked for, so this isn’t a complaint post, it’s more of a balance post of which I seem to be needing a lot.

So, what’s the significance of Wednesday Nights? I’ll tell you. Wednesday is my work from home day each week. Although I’m still working, being at home allows me to get a head start on lots of things that would normally have to wait until after 5:30 p.m. This also creates the perfect start to a restful evening. Wednesday is not one of me and Hubby’s designated “date nights” and the kids are men now and pretty low maintenance. So, I’ve unofficially dubbed Wednesday as my DAY-OFF! I cook what I want to eat (meaning they gone get what I give them), I look at the crap I want to look at on youtube or tv, my appearance is definitely not pulled together, and I force myself not to feel bad about it. Depending on my energy level, this is the day when I go do my visiting or other dinner dates too. I kinda like it yall!

If you’ve been here for a while, you’ll know I have become quite the bath and body products lady (shameless plug www.thegracioushostess.com/shop). This has now become the perfect day for those long baths so I can play with all the products I’ve made. I’m even thinking about making weekly mocktails to join me in the bath on my Day-Off.

The moral of this post is to remember to not forget about you. The older we get the more weight on our shoulders, the more we’re responsible for and I’m sorry, I don’t want to wait until July every year before I can feel like a vacation. Take the time to really hear yourself and tend to your needs. Be sure to create that quiet bucket list of items that are special to only your well-being and make it a ritual to do something every chance you get. It can be as simple as getting that beauty product you’ve been eyeing from afar because it costs a bit more than you anticipated, or it can be as elaborate as that month long sabbatical you think is impossible to pull off. Either way, don’t forget about you.

Until next time,

-K

While I'm Here.... I May As Well Enjoy Myself!

August 15, 2022 Kimberly Mcdowell

Dress: Fashion Nova Shoes: J-Lo (DSW) Earrings: T.J. Maxx
Make-up: Urban Decay Violet Palette and Pat McGrath Celestial Divinity Collection

Whewww! It’s been a strong minute since I’ve chatted with you guys. I’ve missed you! How have you been??? Who me? I’m holding on by a thread but I’m holding on. So much has been going on! Your girl is swiftly approaching the ripe age of 46 on August 28th. I’ve been doing quite a bit of event planning lately and have finally gotten back to soaping. On top of the busy, I got Covid and we lost a very close member on my husband’s side of the family. So many ups and downs I’ve begun to lose count. Buttt! Today is not a woe is me message, Oh no. Today is a message of contentment and acceptance while continuing on this journey to greater. I really didn’t come to preach today but a few things have resonated with me and caused me to take a closer look at what I’ve been wishing for versus what I already have. Come take a walk with me.

The Daily Mirror Conversation

Girl, I have saved so many YouTube workout videos for this imaginary workout regiment I’ve been trying to do since I can remember. Who isn’t on some sort of wellness/fitness journey? My friend and I were talking about our weight loss goals and the plans we have when we reach those goals but one day I said, I’m not waiting until the weight is gone to enjoy adorning this body. These big legs, hips, thighs, belly, and breasts are here right now so I’m choosing to love and beautifully decorate this body while I’m here and right where I am.

2. Create a Life You Don’t Need a Vacation From

Well, you have certainly heard me say this a time or two or twenty. I look at social media and all the cool places and things out there to do. Then I look over at the couch I’m always sitting on. I immediately get overwhelmed by the cost, the time off from work, and a host of other duties wrapped up in taking time away from your ordinary life. And plus I don’t want to wait. Make your space a retreat so you don’t have to long for a getaway to actually feel recharged. Or stop limiting yourself to planning some extravagant trip when a little weekend hiatus will do just fine. Even if its a trip to my backyard to look up at the stars with 5-star cocktails in hand, Beyonce’ playing on the speakers, and talking to my favorite guy. This definitely isn’t me talking myself out of a nice trip, we all need that, but while I’m here…. I’m going to learn to enjoy those backyard moments even more.

3. Stop Expecting You From Other People

I’ve let myself down a lot lately expecting others to think or behave or even feel as I do. Stop it. This is self-sabotage. I’ve listened to a lot of opinions and commentary and philosophies over the past few weeks and I’m shocked that I still get disappointed when people don’t do as I think or treat people as I would. Crazy right?! My expectations are what’s letting me down. I keep expecting me from them and that’s impossible. Be you, do good, be generous, be kind because you want to do it and don’t make it contingent upon someone else’s actions. And when you don’t feel like doing, Don’t. It’s as simple as that. Soooooo while I’m here….. I will be the best me for my satisfaction and not others.

Thanks for listening yall! Until next time.

-K

Date Night at Home: Anniversary Edition!

February 16, 2021 Kimberly Mcdowell

Hi there! I’m just returning from a beautiful weekend celebrating me and George’s 17th Anniversary! Yes yes, we got married on Valentine’s Day in 2004. Wow! 17 years is a long time. What’s even more shocking is that I’ve known him since the 10th grade. Any who! This year because of the pandemic we decided to stay in again but instead of hiring a chef, I did the cooking myself. I wanted to be sure I shared the great, the good and the ugly about executing date nights at home. Ultimately, I think they are wonderful opportunities to go all out especially since we’re encouraged to all stay home.

Look The Part

First things first, just because you’re staying home doesn’t mean you get to skimp on the looks department. Dress up and do your make-up. You wouldn’t believe how this will alter your mood on the expectations of the date. George and I love to throw on some fancy rags and shimmy around the house. We really don’t need a reason but our Anniversary was the perfect excuse.

George was sporting some black drawstring slacks and a red sweater. He felt the only way to truly be over the top was to add this nice coat from Macy’s. As for me, I grabbed this satin number from H&M, my new jeweled pumps by Betsy Johnson (one of my gifts), and this cool hat and veil to zhuzh my outfit up a bit.

Set The Stage

This year’s table theme was King & Queen of Hearts. For the past few years, I’ve been trying to come up with different tablescapes to make the evening more festive. Even before the pandemic, I began to grow tired of the waiting game and crowds on Valentine’s Day. So to make our home feel like we’re going out, I’ve been putting together celebratory tables. I’ve loved every moment too. This year I wanted to break away from the classic red or pink table. I added blue! The finished product was indeed a stunner.

On The Menu

This is where the fun begins. I wanted to be sure we had a fancy menu since it was our Anniversary but I also wanted to be sure the meal was pretty easy so I didn’t spend the whole day in the kitchen. I went the semi-homemade route on appetizers and dessert. We ordered some of our favorite sushi from Taca, one of our local favorites, and grabbed a Cheesecake Factory sampler from Publix. I hand dipped some strawberries myself to go with our cheesecake. These short cuts saved a lot of time.

For the next course, I decided to try a new recipe for lobster bisque. It was tasty but not what I expected. I’ll talk more about the don’ts later but as a tip, don’t try new recipes that you haven’t already tested for special dates like this. Now on to our main course, we decided on Filet Mignon cause we fancy, and roasted veggies. We opted against a starch for the main course since we loaded up on carbs with the sushi. We didn’t want to get overstuffed since you know that only leads to an early snooze.

What To Do On A Date At Home?

This part usually comes naturally for most people but if you find yourself looking for things to do to fill up your night, here are a few things you could try.

Conversation Starters

If you two love a good conversation, this intimate deck has conversation starters on a variety of topics. Perfect for when you don’t want to have to come up with things to say.

YouTube Concert

If the two of you are into music, que up a Sade or Kem concert on YouTube! They are definitely entertaining!

Erotic Bedtime Stories

Another cool option for when you’re all done with dinner and have slipped into something more comfortable. Before you jump right into the bedroom acrobatics, read him a bedtime story. Zane has several short stories that are bound to preheat your oven. LOLOLOL

What I Learned

Alright folks, now on to some tips I’ve learned about the evening. 1. Prep super early in the day so you have time to rest up and be energized for the evening. I didn’t start decorating until a few hours prior and listen, my body sure felt it. Also, I began cooking after decorating. Bad idea. I under estimated how long the decor would take so this cut into my time that was allotted for preparing our simple meal. Next time I plan to start super early so I can relax for a couple hours before I have to get dressed. 2. Never try out a new recipe the day of your date. If it goes south, you have no recovery time. The lobster bisque turned out good but the taste was totally different than what I expected. 3. Allow ample time to pamper yourself while you get dressed. It is such a mood enhancer. Take your time, sip some wine and listen to some music while you’re putting yourself together. I had no time to really spend on myself because I didn’t start my prep early enough, plus I was dog tired by the time we sat down for dinner.

I certainly learned my lesson but it was all so worth it. I hope you guys enjoy this and share some of your date night tips with me too.

Until next time,

-K

TGH Lingerie Tips for my Thicktoria's Secret Models!

December 7, 2020 Kimberly Mcdowell

Baby its cold outside…..Today’s topic is all about what we’re wearing while we’re all snuggled up inside. I’ve gotten a few questions from people on my lingerie shopping experience and where I buy things. I wouldn’t typically share these things in public, but since it’s just us girls here……….

Confidence

First things first, I don’t care what you have on, if you don’t have at least a tiny bit of confidence, you need to get your hype man ritual together fast. The Hype Man Ritual is what you do to boost your confidence, whatever you tell yourself that makes you feel like you are “That ___” (you fill in the blank). My go to is a sexy playlist and a glass of something brown. When you have the confidence, you can convince anyone to believe that what you have on is sexy. Even yourself. I don’t know about you but convincing myself is always the hardest when it comes to this. The goal is to shop for yourself. Buy lingerie for you first. Not to impress anyone else. If you love it, 10 times out of 10 they will too, and that is all because of how good you look and feel in it.

Search for Fit

There is nothing worse than wearing lingerie that’s uncomfortable. You become mentally insecure, uncomfortable from ill fitting garments, and you’re distracted and can’t be present in whatever good time is going on. This will take some trial and error at first but once you know the formula of what fits well on you, you will have no problem navigating any website or store. I’ve listed some of the main gripes I’ve heard and potential remedies below:

Breasts - Choose items without any underwire or cup definition. That way you’re not spilling out. If your breasts are smaller, you want to avoid this so there is nothing there making you feel inadequate.
Arms - Robes and sheer dresses really help with this.
Legs - Choose something that is floor length or something that shifts the focus upwards towards your bosom.
Thighs - Choose bodysuits that don’t constrict the thigh area. Also thigh highs do wonders for giving your thighs and legs a more air-brushed finish.
Stomach - Choose the Babydoll style nighties or something that is more flowy in the mid-section.

Research Research Research!

Research in a sense that you buy from several different places and try on lots of things. You won’t know what looks great on you until you try. A personal experience of mine is that I hated my thighs so I would always gravitate towards long gowns. Finally I tried a bodysuit and baaaabyyyyyyyy! I’ve never looked back. You have got to try things and test them for yourself regardless of whether you THINK you can pull it off or not. Be open-minded. I have several places I’ve shopped for things and I have provided below some of my personal favorites. I actually own all the pieces I’ve included so yes, I’ve done my research. Variety is key so you have something for any mood you may be in.

ASOS

Adore Me

Hips & Curves

Savage X Fenty

Amazon

I could talk a lot more about this but I will stop here and give you a chance to get started with your own exploration. Remember, start with you in mind and everything else will fall into place. I hope you enjoyed it! xoxo

Until next time,

-K