Money Tips for the Faux Financial! Featuring Dr. Shawn Stewart

June 19, 2019 Kimberly Mcdowell

Hello! My name is Kimberly and I’m a faux financial. Well let me just clean this up a little, I’m pretty responsible when it comes to my necessities but when it comes to my fun! I’m terrible, no discipline what so ever! I’m ashamed because I actually have a BBA in Finance. Although I’m responsible in one area, it’s those other areas that keep me from elevating to the next level of financial freedom. So today I’ve solicited one of the MOST responsible people I know to answer a few questions for us. My best friend Dr. Shawn Stewart is amazing at so many things but I’ve found that she’s transcendent in the financial discipline arena so let’s see what she has to say!

What advice would you give a person on where to begin to get finances in order?

I would write down all the debt/bills in my life (mortgage/rent, car payment, credit cards, student loans, cable, cell, gas for my car, childcare, groceries, etc) to determine how much I need to pay out each month. Honestly, I break my bills down into two cycles because I get paid bimonthly. The ones I need to pay first half of the month and the ones I need to pay the second half of the month. Once that is determined, I would then decide how much I want to save. Then, I would determine what I have left and set a weekly budget for spending based on what’s left. I also include my monthly maintenance (hair, nails, etc) in what I need to pay out each month, FYI. I also listen to podcasts and read books/articles about financial literacy. This has really helped me to get my finances in order, but I still have work to do.

What tips would you provide on how to stay disciplined when it comes to spending?

I don’t allow myself to spend outside of my weekly budget unless it is an emergency. I have a checking account, a savings account, and an emergency fund. I keep my emergency fund separate because I don’t want to allow myself to believe it is dispensable. Therefore, I only transfer money from there as necessary. This fund will allow me to take care of things that come up as “emergencies” without having to deduct from my savings account. I put money into this account every pay period (and no it isn’t an astronomical amount, but it adds up) just as I put into my savings every pay period.

Saving !

My biggest rule is to NEVER TAKE MONEY FROM MY SAVINGS. In the past, I would spend as much as I saved which gave me the exact amount at the end of the year that I had at the beginning, talk about feeling defeated, lol! Creating the emergency account allowed me to keep my savings saved! I automatically get the money drafted (each pay period) from my account so I don’t even see it, but the amount I decided on is a reasonable amount. It won’t impact my way of life by not being available for spending. Don’t put away an unreasonable amount that you will need for day to day life; otherwise, you will end up spending what you are allegedly supposed to be saving.

What are some tips you would give your 20 year old self about finances?

I would not have accrued so much debt! Mainly student loans! I had to borrow money to get through college (and trust me, I went for many, many years) but I didn’t have to borrow an excessive amount to live off of. That’s one of my biggest regrets. I also had lots of credit debt in my early 20s. I learned from that experience to only charge what I can pay off in 3 months. If it’s going to take me longer than 3 months to pay it off, I don’t charge it or I save towards the purchase to prevent from charging so much.

What are some suggestions on how to reduce debt?

I’m still working on this one, lol. I wrote down all of the debt I owe and wrote down a sensible pay off date. I work towards achieving that goal. In the mean time, I don’t add additional debt. I have accepted certain debt (mortgage, car, student loans) but I try really hard not to accrue additional debt. I don’t window shop/internet browse because it will tempt me to splurge/buy things I don’t need but I just want, in turn creating more debt.

Well there you have it! I hope there was something here you can implement to help you on your road to financial freedom. I’m making a promise to myself to get my stuff together!

Until next time,

-K

The Art of Manliness: What Women Appreciate about your Masculinity

April 28, 2019 Kimberly Mcdowell

Today’s topic is mainly for the gentlemen and our appreciation for the male species. I grew up in a single parent household with my father and watching his razor sharp grooming process really set the bar for my view of what a well put together man looked like. From the moment he’d poke his head in my room to ask if I could iron a pair of pants for him to when his cologne would float down the stairs as me made his exit. Flaws and all, he was and is utter perfection.

So naturally, my husband would be just as polished. My muse for this blog post is indeed my husband George. #boyfriend #babydaddy #boothang. I’m sure he may be a little embarrassed that I put him out there like this and have plundered in his things to create these photos, BUT I also think he secretly likes it. Like most men do. I love his style, he’s extremely versatile and I’ve witnessed his smart dapper looks and his chill weekend vibes. What I appreciate the most about his aura is that he is usually very well coordinated without the “LOOK AT ME” over the top attitude.

While thinking of all the things I love about him, I wondered if other women had the same quirky thoughts that I do. Soooo I asked them! Guys here’s what the women I asked had to say about their appreciation for you.

GROOMING:

Clean fingernails
Cologne - You must smell nice
Self-Care - Be sure to get your health check-ups
A fresh haircut has an allure all on its own
Fresh Breath is as must

CHARACTER:

A gentleman that is kind enough to make us feel loved but knows when to put us in check
Respectful to all women
A man with manners is certainly a blessing

FASHION:

This is the fun part! Ladies had a lot to say about this topic. Here are some of the fun quotes!

“…..a long sleeve button up and he rolls the sleeves up to about mid-forearm…”

“Pants that are fitted. Not too tight and not too loose. With a nice belt.” “Color also looks good on men!”

“I love a man in a nice tailored suit, traditional colors…”

“I like a nice super white tee.”

“I love a man who’s switch up game is strong….” “Gotta smell good. Clean cut. That grey in the beard is good, I hate that “black-out” beard ish..”

“Definitely cologne! Nothing overpowering.”

“A nice set of teeth with fresh breath to go with it!”

“Polo blue cologne, John Varvatos cologne. I also think men are too scared to accessorize!”

“It’s not about just smelling good and looking good on the outside…how often do you bathe? Let me see your gums!”

“I love nice shoes on a man!”

So there you have it! We love our guys and hopefully this will encourage you gentlemen to keep doing what you’re doing! Thanks for all the worthy input Donnica, Nygeria, Kayla, Amanda, Lynn, Dianne, Sherron, Alissa, Mayah, Nedra, Catrena and Nina!

Until next time!

-K

Marriage Chronicles: Being the Mrs.

April 5, 2019 Kimberly Mcdowell

My husband and I have been married now for 15 years so I feel I’m marginally qualified to speak on this subject. It’s funny because I can clearly remember how a long time ago, one of my biggest life goals was to get married. And as in life goals I mean the lofty type you don’t necessarily expect to reach like getting an inheritance out of nowhere. Can you believe that?? For a while I even thought that I wasn’t a good enough package for someone to pick me. It’s amazing what your low self esteem filled underage brain can come up with when you’re young and misinformed. Now that I’m older and much more seasoned, I feel its my duty to share how I navigate the unpredictable waters of matrimony.

Please note that these are only my thoughts and what works for me may not be what works for others so take any piece of this that helps you and leave the rest.

· The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit

Your faith is most important because this is what gets you through the tough times. It reminds you of the unconditional love that should be the foundation of your relationship. Without it you can expect your relationship to crumble at the slightest breeze of adversity.

· Be a Complete Person All by Yourself. Your Spouse Won’t Fill Every Void.

This is the one thing I wish I knew more about before I got married. As I said before, one of my goals was to get married. I thought that would complete me. Well he hates when I say this, but my husband gave me the BEST advice a young 20-year-old girlfriend could hear. “Don’t center your life around me!” he said. Now at 20 years old this broke my heart into a million pieces. A million pieces I said! Once I picked my dramatic self up off the floor and dried my eyes, I took this advice home with me to chew on it a bit. He was right! Your mate is attracted to you for all the things that YOU are so never stop being YOU. Continue to grow and explore yourself (within respectful boundaries of your marriage that is) and if he or she is right for you, you’ll move through the changes just fine. Keep in mind though that even as you change, you can’t expect that your partner will change or grow at your same pace. Just continue to support each other along the way.

· Make Love Often

It’s as simple as that. If you’re making love, you’re not making war. If you think that holding out to prove a point helps your marriage? It doesn’t. This is your BOND. The more time and space you put between this bond, the easier it is for outside distractions to fill up this space which further separates you. Another piece of advice is to make love to your partner the way THEY like it and vice versa. Basic alllllll the time is not cool. Hey, I know!! I’m still working on this part myself.

· The Ups and Downs will Always Be There – Just Wait It Out!

This is probably not the best example, but I compare this part of marriage to a video game. Just think back to when you were playing Super Mario Brothers, you make it through one stage, and you move to the next! The goal is to keep winning!

Level 1 – You deal with trust and communicating as a newly married couple. You are creating a home together and get your first taste of the Money talks.

Level 2 – You begin to learn how to Fight Fair. You struggle with the fear that every fight will lead to divorce. You are consumed with dealing with kids and in-laws.

Level 3 – You struggle with the 7-year itch, boredom, thoughts of infidelity, friends of the opposite sex, changing bodies and body confidence issues.

Level 4 – The reconnect! You grow as a couple and become stronger together, more active sex life (with each other that is), you communicate better, arguments look more like discussions and you have proved that you can thrive together.

Level 5 – Aging parents becomes a topic. How do we level up as a couple? How do we keep our connection and maintain the attraction?

Prayerfully the levels go on and on and sometimes you fall back down a few levels to start again. The point is to stick with it. If you love each other, you will find a way to make it through.

· Do You Want to be Right? Or Do You Want to be Happy?

I love a good debate! Marriage takes a different kind of communication though and sometimes you just have to take one for the team so choose your battles wisely. Around year six or so I finally realized that although I was able to prove how right I was, I still felt like I wasn’t helping him HEAR me. My focus had to shift to figure out how to make him understand and truly HEAR me as opposed to being right. A lot of the issues were my inability to listen because “I’m Right!” Well once my focus changed my communication style did too. I try to refrain from yelling and lean more towards discussion, so we are both open to hearing both sides and work together for a compromise. Please know that I’m a work in progress and sometimes I still yell a few obscenities at the top of my lungs to remind him that I’m Crazy AF and don’t play with me. Baby steps none the less.

· The In-Laws

This is such a tricky subject for most marriages. I had a real quick and dirty introduction to this topic and have heard the horror stories. I must admit that initially I felt some tug of war here on both sides, his and mine. This is TOUGH! But aside from whose macaroni tastes better and who is allowed to just popup to the house and how often, I had to realize that it is NOT A COMPETITION. Our families love us and that doesn’t just magically go away because you get married. George and I had to make our relationship the priority and gently break it to our family. I’m never going to be his mother, nor do I want to be. I’m quite happy with my role as Wife and no one can take either one of our places. SOOO, my Mother in Love and I both enjoy our common goal and that is loving him in our own separate ways.

· Find a Human Support Person or Persons

I talk to God often but girrrrrlllll! If nothing else, find you a good sister/friend that supports your goal to be a Happily Married Woman. I don’t care if they are family, friend, pastor, Auntie, single, married, or divorced! As long as they are objective enough to call you out when you are wrong, they can be trusted, and they don’t hold grudges once you and your spouse aren’t fighting anymore. Honey!!! My BFF, my Sister, Niece, Aunties and close friends certainly get an earful from me but at the end of it all they truly support my goal to be happily married to George.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my rambling and I hope there was something here you could take with you.

Until next time.

-K

Self-Care Sundays: A Relaxing Bathtime Recipe for Soothing Bath Salts

March 17, 2019 Kimberly Mcdowell

Hey everybody,

I don’t know about you but I’m certainly in need of a retreat already and its only March. Although I would like to just jet off to some exotic island and relax, I’m needed here at home and I do have an 8-5 that I kinda need to show up to on Monday. So to bring this fantasy closer to some sort of reality, I make my Sunday bath time a huge production in relaxation.

I choose Sundays because it’s my day to reset and get ready for the week ahead. Your workweek might look a little different from mine so choose a day or time that works for you.

So once I’ve finished any chores and cooking for the day, I make sure my bath “experience” is in the evening around 7pm. I gather everything I need like my cell phone, blue tooth speaker, candles, sparkling beverage, and any other bath time accessories. While the bath water is running, I light candles around the tub to create the mood lighting. I find a relaxing playlist of Jazz or Spa Sounds on youtube and lock the door. I’ve picked up several fun face masks and have turned into a major Bath Salt and Bath Bomb girl. I’ve even gotten my husband a few of them. What better way to soak away your troubles and get ready for whatever the week has to bring.

On my journey to finding the perfect bath experience I stumbled across this Bath Salts recipe you can try at home.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 Cup Epsom Salt
1/4 Cup Baking Soda
1 Tbsp of Jojoba Oil
20 Drops of White Tea Ginger Essential Oil
20 Drops of Rosemary Essential Oil
2 Tbsp of Dried Lavender
2 Tbsp of Dried Rosebuds

Here’s how to do it!

In a large bowl:

Combine your Epsom Salt and Baking Soda and mix well.
Add the jojoba oil and stir until blended
Add a few drops of the colorant of your choice. I chose a grape violet to give it the soft blue tint
Add the essential oils and continue to blend