Wednesday Nights

I know I know, it’s only January and already I’m talking about time-off and self-care. Adulting is a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still grateful but being grateful doesn’t mean it’s not hard. Since the middle of last year, I’ve been trying to adopt the mindset of not being ashamed to rest. Not feeling guilty about doing nothing. Saying no when I really don’t feel like it and you’d be surprised at how hard that is. If you ask Hubby, he’d say I’m really good at the No part. Well as a wife, mother, professional, and entrepreneur my mind is constantly running, making lists, people pleasing, and people disappointing. They all require the caretaker in me to work overtime and in a totally different way for each arena. Again, I’m extremely grateful because most of this I’ve asked for, so this isn’t a complaint post, it’s more of a balance post of which I seem to be needing a lot.

So, what’s the significance of Wednesday Nights? I’ll tell you. Wednesday is my work from home day each week. Although I’m still working, being at home allows me to get a head start on lots of things that would normally have to wait until after 5:30 p.m. This also creates the perfect start to a restful evening. Wednesday is not one of me and Hubby’s designated “date nights” and the kids are men now and pretty low maintenance. So, I’ve unofficially dubbed Wednesday as my DAY-OFF! I cook what I want to eat (meaning they gone get what I give them), I look at the crap I want to look at on youtube or tv, my appearance is definitely not pulled together, and I force myself not to feel bad about it. Depending on my energy level, this is the day when I go do my visiting or other dinner dates too. I kinda like it yall!

If you’ve been here for a while, you’ll know I have become quite the bath and body products lady (shameless plug www.thegracioushostess.com/shop). This has now become the perfect day for those long baths so I can play with all the products I’ve made. I’m even thinking about making weekly mocktails to join me in the bath on my Day-Off.

The moral of this post is to remember to not forget about you. The older we get the more weight on our shoulders, the more we’re responsible for and I’m sorry, I don’t want to wait until July every year before I can feel like a vacation. Take the time to really hear yourself and tend to your needs. Be sure to create that quiet bucket list of items that are special to only your well-being and make it a ritual to do something every chance you get. It can be as simple as getting that beauty product you’ve been eyeing from afar because it costs a bit more than you anticipated, or it can be as elaborate as that month long sabbatical you think is impossible to pull off. Either way, don’t forget about you.

Until next time,

-K

Soak up the Slow of the Season

Hello hello hello! Through all the holiday hustle I’ve managed to peek my head up and jot down a few words to close the year.  This year has had its share of highs and unexpected lows and here we are in a mad dash to prepare for the big day! Christmas!  I don’t know about you but this last month I’ve been the biggest slacker.  I had all these plans to entertain, send holiday cards, bake, and spread cheer.  And I have done nothing the way my Virgo brain planned. Pie crusts are still in the freezer and my glittered holiday cards are still on my desk. And I’m actually ok with that. 

Thank God for my sweet husband.  He is Father Christmas himself.  He is the sole “Cheer” Leader in the house this time of year. He even sends us all Christmas cards by mail even though we live with him.  I mean look, I’m fun but he runs circles around my Christmas cheer, and I let him.  This is totally his thing. For me, I’m over here practicing being present for myself and the people I’m around. Enjoying the good company before me instead of longing to be in other places. I wish I could do and be more for others but I’m only one person and I strive daily to make a small difference in someone’s life. And I’ve learned to actually be ok with that.

Gift giving this year has been hilarious, we all know what we’re getting and we’re already opening them early at my house. We took some extra days off from work to roll around in the joy of the season because for me the real gift is that I get to spend the time with my hubby and boys and other family and friends.  And I’m actually ok with that.

We’ve had some loss, some unions and lots of new babies in the family this year.  These things have moved us emotionally and mentally closer to others.  Hubby and I plan to keep the momentum next year and continue to reach out and love on the people we still have while cherishing the memory of the one’s no longer here in person.  In order to do that, we have to slow down a bit. And I’m ok with that.

So I guess there is something to being content and loving the normal ordinary stuff about life too. You never know when you will be jolted on 10 in one direction or another so please be sure you remember to soak up the slow of the season. Happy Holidays!

Until next time,

-K

While I'm Here.... I May As Well Enjoy Myself!

Whewww! It’s been a strong minute since I’ve chatted with you guys. I’ve missed you! How have you been??? Who me? I’m holding on by a thread but I’m holding on. So much has been going on! Your girl is swiftly approaching the ripe age of 46 on August 28th. I’ve been doing quite a bit of event planning lately and have finally gotten back to soaping. On top of the busy, I got Covid and we lost a very close member on my husband’s side of the family. So many ups and downs I’ve begun to lose count. Buttt! Today is not a woe is me message, Oh no. Today is a message of contentment and acceptance while continuing on this journey to greater. I really didn’t come to preach today but a few things have resonated with me and caused me to take a closer look at what I’ve been wishing for versus what I already have. Come take a walk with me.

1. The Daily Mirror Conversation

Girl, I have saved so many YouTube workout videos for this imaginary workout regiment I’ve been trying to do since I can remember. Who isn’t on some sort of wellness/fitness journey? My friend and I were talking about our weight loss goals and the plans we have when we reach those goals but one day I said, I’m not waiting until the weight is gone to enjoy adorning this body. These big legs, hips, thighs, belly, and breasts are here right now so I’m choosing to love and beautifully decorate this body while I’m here and right where I am.

2. Create a Life You Don’t Need a Vacation From

Well, you have certainly heard me say this a time or two or twenty. I look at social media and all the cool places and things out there to do. Then I look over at the couch I’m always sitting on. I immediately get overwhelmed by the cost, the time off from work, and a host of other duties wrapped up in taking time away from your ordinary life. And plus I don’t want to wait. Make your space a retreat so you don’t have to long for a getaway to actually feel recharged. Or stop limiting yourself to planning some extravagant trip when a little weekend hiatus will do just fine. Even if its a trip to my backyard to look up at the stars with 5-star cocktails in hand, Beyonce’ playing on the speakers, and talking to my favorite guy. This definitely isn’t me talking myself out of a nice trip, we all need that, but while I’m here…. I’m going to learn to enjoy those backyard moments even more.

3. Stop Expecting You From Other People

I’ve let myself down a lot lately expecting others to think or behave or even feel as I do. Stop it. This is self-sabotage. I’ve listened to a lot of opinions and commentary and philosophies over the past few weeks and I’m shocked that I still get disappointed when people don’t do as I think or treat people as I would. Crazy right?! My expectations are what’s letting me down. I keep expecting me from them and that’s impossible. Be you, do good, be generous, be kind because you want to do it and don’t make it contingent upon someone else’s actions. And when you don’t feel like doing, Don’t. It’s as simple as that. Soooooo while I’m here….. I will be the best me for my satisfaction and not others.

Thanks for listening yall! Until next time.

-K

Balance or Whatever?

Omg where has the time gone! I cannot believe its mid-April! We have sandals peeking out and pollen storms showing up already. I can’t keep track anymore. My first quarter is usually a whirlwind anyway with both the George’s birthdays in February and early April and I had the nerve to add weddings and event coordination to my already full soaping schedule. I izzzz tired!!! Forgive me. I have finally sat myself down to have a real serious talk about balance.

Check- In

I had to be realistic with myself and figure out how can I sustain everything without sacrificing myself and family in the process. I jotted down some things that are non-negotiables like my family time and home priorities. I have really been slacking in the home projects area, especially if I can close a door on it (please tell me I’m not alone). I really want to make my home more comfortable, organized, and welcoming and it seems like everything else is sucking all my energy instead. In an effort to give hubby more undivided attention, I’ve recently decided to leave my cell phone in the other room on occasion. He may tell you different, but I did make an attempt and that’s what’s really important.

Take Inventory

I then had to really take inventory on how hard I wanted to go with soaping, events, event coordination, my blog, social groups, and all the other distractions I have going on. I needed to look at what I was longing for and figure out a way for it to be added to this circus. I really want to give each area my best self so if I can’t give the appropriate amount of attention to it, it has to go or at least be put on the back burner so those other wants could be added. A lot of the things I do require a good chunk of uninterrupted focused time and lately I have been quite finicky with how I’m spending my time. This forced me to also take a hard look at all the negative time suckers, including people. I have asked myself on a few occasions recently, why am I even bothering? This was a shock to me because I’m usually the one who just goes along and do what I’m supposed to. Well, is it worth my time seems to be the motto these days.

Make Changes

Now that everything is out on the table, I have to pick up only the things I really want to invest in and prioritize them. I really need to put the time in to reorganize my life to regain my balance. I told hubby recently that I feel stifled and unsettled, I did not tell him that it may be coming from the mountain of SHOES in my way as I get in bed each night. I’m not gonna lie, I am not looking forward to organizing my closet and getting rid of clothes and shoes. I would much rather just get a bigger place. As I come to the end of this post, I’m now asking myself if this whole thing was just an overdramatized cry for help with my closet? Nevertheless, I will persevere. If you haven’t heard from me in a few weeks, send help.

Until next time,

-K